We have high hopes that we will release this game, but in case we don't, you should also consider backing our kickstarter.
That way, even if the game never comes out, we'll still get some of your money. And you get the fun of buying something — it's a win win!
If you're reading this, you've discovered the laboratory of mind-boggling creativity that is Exotic Polymer Games. Here, we believe that the only thing more important than artistic integrity is sales figures and audience retention metrics — and that's a promise.
Our solemn commitment to you, as our valued customer, is that if you request a refund, we will provide one in accordance with the basic rules of the Steam platform, until such time as we find a way to avoid granting refunds. Seriously, if you know how to turn that off, please email us immediately and we'll give you a free steam key for the demo version of one of our games — presuming that we ever actually release a game!
Our founder, Bill Oomphczwerth, had a vision. The specifics of this vision have been lost to time, but reliable witnesses have attested that the vision included computers, video games, and a briefcase full of money.
Never a game studio to shy away from bold risktaking, we resolved to execute upon Bill's intentions as faithfully as possible. We carefully examined Bill's notes and found something astonishing: pages upon pages of concept art for a project he called 'Project One'. The culmination of years of honing his design skills, and constituting a rare glimpse into the mad genius of Bill, these pages of concept art formed the basis of our new game project which we hope to share with you soon.
The reality is, our game studio has been brewing in the background, like storm clouds ominously gathering on the horizon, for easily a decade, at this point. When our first playable demo is unleashed upon the public in the coming months, arriving seemingly out of nowhere, the shockwaves will be felt across the industry.